This memorial website was created in the memory of our son, Kyan Michael Alltop, who was born on July 25, 2005 and passed away on April 01, 2007 at 20 months young. We will remember and love him forever.
"Those of you that got to spend any time with Kyan know how much of a magical child he was. It did not matter where you were or what you were doing all he had to do was show those big blue eyes and flash that grin of his and he had everybody in the room wrapped around his finger and if you tried to resist all he had to do has add his unique giggle and it was all over with.
It was almost exactly two years ago that we found out that after 6 long years of waiting God was finally going to bless us with a baby boy through adoption. From the moment he was born there was no doubt that Kyan was meant to be Susan and my little angel. We all bonded from the first moment we were able to touch him.
Susan and I thought we knew what real love was until God blessed us with Kyan. At that moment we both discovered another level of love that we never knew existed. In that moment everything you thought was important in your life fails in comparison to the loving and protecting you want to provide your child.
Kyan gave Susan and I the most wonderful 20 months of our lives and we will always love him for that. We will never know the reason why he was taken from us so soon. We take comfort in the fact that God chose us to spend those twenty months together and hope we were able to give him as much love and happiness in those 20 months that he provided us. We feel blessed to have those 20 months of memories and we will cherish them for a lifetime. Although the pain has been unbearable the last few days we would not change anything if it meant not having those 20 wonderful months with Kyan.
It’s going to be hard not have my little buddy Ky Ky following me around being dads little helper. I promise you Kyan that I will never work on anything around the house again without hoping that you will come around the corner and plop down in my lap to help. I also promise you that when we are all together again we will pick up right were we left off.
They say in moments of tragedy you will find out who your true friends and family really are. Looking out over everyone today makes Susan and I realize how lucky we are to have so many friends and family that care about us. I know everyone would like to have those magical words that would make all the pain and suffering go away but we know those words do not exist. We did want you to know that just your presence here today and kind words over the past few days have helped more than we will ever be able to express to you. We thank you for coming to celebrate Kyan's life with us today." ~Mike Alltop, April 5, 2007
Kyan on March 31, 2007
We would like to thank… Woodfin Chapel Charles Nored Middle Tennessee Medical Center Murfreesboro Police Department Murfreesboro EMS Emerson Heating Products
Special thanks to our friends that were there for us during the first two weeks following Kyan’s death. You helped us without being asked and put us before your own families. There are no words to describe how grateful we are to have you in our lives.
Mike and Linda Cummings Matt and Cathy Lively Riley and Sharon Brewer Chris and Michelle Rooker Therese Pickett William and Rita Andrews Kenny and Nikki Tiller
Thank you to everyone that sent food, flowers, cards, gifts, phone calls and prayers. We are deeply touched and uplifted by you calling for prayer from your friends and family for us. Thank you to The Lively Family, Mindy Quinn, Tina Parker, Doug Young, The Dickenson Family, Beth Keen Saunders, Melissa Myers and Susan's Bunko Sisters for helping the day of Kyan’s Memorial service.
Thank you to all of our family and friends that traveled from out of state to be with us. We love and miss you.
To Kyan’s loving birth family- not even death can break our family bond. You will never be forgotten- there is open adoption even in Heaven.
To our Alabama friends- thank you for your friendship over the past two years. Special thanks to our friends at Montgomery Mom’s Playgroup, Alabama Post Adoption Connections Group and Hyundai Motor Manufacturing of America.
To Susan's endo buddies- thank you for your love and support.
To Beth Poundstone at ALFA Realty- thank you for your sweet compassion and selling our home in Alabama so quick. We appreciate your hard work.
To our Tennessee friends- we moved back to the ‘Boro because we fell in love with each of you while living here for 5 years. We had not seen many of you in over 2 years. Thank you for your everlasting friendship. We are happy to be back ‘home’.
Thank you for your generous memorial donations to Linebaugh Public Library and to many of your local libraries. As of May 2007, Linebaugh has collected almost $2000 in memory of Kyan. It warms our hearts to know that so many children will be touched by Kyan’s spirit and love of reading. Thank you to Miriam’s Promise for donating desperately needed child and adult adoption books to Linebaugh.
July 3, 2007 Below are some pictures of the activity island at Linebaugh Public Library. Along with many books, it was purchased with money donated in Kyan's name. It is very popular toy, we were there for a short time and saw many children playing with it!
July 25, 2007 Happy Heavenly birthday Kyan! Momma, Daddy, Cathy & Sydney released balloons in Tennessee to celebrate and remember Kyan on his 2nd birthday. Thank you to our sweet friends and family that helped us through this hard day by your phone calls, cards and flowers.
Almost all of our family members gathered to release balloons in Illinois too!
September 2007 Jennifer W. in Kentucky found one of Kyan's birthday balloons! Thank you Jennifer for contacting us and helping us celebrate Kyan's birthday!
Thank you Becky Jo from www.hooplado.com for designing this custom embroidery design for us.
In April, we attended SIDS Family Day at Brookfield Zoo in Chicago. We spent a windy Chicago day with many of our family members and other SIDS families. It was a surreal day being with families just like ours, our heart healed a little knowing we are not alone. God bless all families that have lost a child.
July 25, 2008
Happy 3rd Heavenly Birthday Kyan! Thank you friends and family for remembering Kyan and keeping his memory alive in your lives and hearts. We love and miss you! Your prayers are felt~ keep them coming!
We celebrated Kyan's birthday with a balloon release in our back yard. The rain cleared just in time for an evening launch. Afterwards, we had dinner and fellowship with the Lively and Tindall families. Matt, Cathy, Sydney, Kendall, James, Paula, Jordan and Collin thank you for your friendship.
Thank you to The SUDC Program and all SUDC families. If you need any information on SIDS or SUDC support please email us. You are not alone. We are here to help.
Lovely birthday flowers from Kyan's God Parents. Thank you Uncle Mikey and Aunt Leann and Alligator Head Jackson. We love you!
SUDC Christmas tree dedicated to Kyan and all of the SUDC angels. 28 SUDC families contributed pictures.
Uncle Aaron and Aunt Kristy bought Christmas gifts for underprivilaged children in Lexington, Illinois in memory of Kyan Michael.
March 31, 2009
Some very special people, John and Margie in Albany, Kentucky found one of Kyan's birthday balloons while fishing.... 8 months after launch! Thank you so much to The Myers family for posting! As we remember Kyan we know his spirit is still among us.
April 1, 2009
Thank you Dr. D family & staff for Kyan's lovely angel day flowers.
July 25, 2009
We celebrated Kyan's 4th Heavenly Birthday surrounded by all of our closest friends at our home. Each of the children in attendance, Mike and I released balloons. This was a very hard day for us this year.
Follow our life journey...
SIDS facts ...
Sudden Infant Death Syndrome
-SIDS claims the lives of almost 2,500 infants in the US each year- that is nearly 7 babies every day.
-SIDS is not caused by "baby shots."
-SIDS deaths occur unexpectedly and quickly to apparently healthy infants, usually during periods of sleep.
-SIDS is not caused by suffocation, choking, or smothering.
-SIDS is not caused by child abuse or neglect.
-SIDS is not contagious.
-SIDS occurs in families of all races and socioeconomic levels.
-SIDS cannot be predicted or prevented and can claim any baby, in spite of parents doing everything right.
SUDC facts ... Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood
-Occurs in children beyond the age of 12 months.
-Is a diagnosis of exclusion utilized when all known and possible causes of death have been ruled out.
-It's incidence is approximately 1.3 death per 100,000 children.
-In comparison, the incidence of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) is 40 times more common.
-It is unpredictable and unpreventable at this time.
-Research dollars are crucial to uncovering the mystery of SUDC.
Please support SIDS and SUDC research. We are parents that need answers.
A Bereaved Parent's Wish List by Compassionate Friends
I wish my child hadn't died. I wish I had him back.
I wish you wouldn't be afraid to speak my child's name. My child lived and was very important to me. I need to hear that he was important to you also.
If I cry and get emotional when you talk about my child I wish you knew that it isn't because you have hurt me. My child's death is the cause of my tears.
You have talked about my child, and you have allowed me to share my grief. I thank you for both.
I wish you wouldn't "kill" my child again by removing his pictures, artwork, or other remembrances from your home.
Being a bereaved parent is not contagious, so I wish you wouldn't shy away from me. I need you now more than ever.
I need diversions, so I do want to hear about you; but, I also want you to hear about me.
I might be sad and I might cry, but I wish you would let me talk about my child, my favorite topic of the day.
I know you think of and pray for me often. I also know that my child's death pains you, too.
I wish you would let me know those things through a phone call, a card, note, or a real big hug.
I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be over in a short period of time. I wish you could understand that my grief will never be over.
I will suffer the death of my child until the day I die. Grief is a life long process.
I am working very hard in my recovery, but I wish you could understand that I will never fully recover.
I will always miss my child, and I will always grieve that he is dead.
I wish you wouldn't expect me "not to think about it" or to "be happy".
Neither will happen for a very long time, so don't frustrate yourself.
I don't want to have a "pity party", but I do wish you would let me grieve. I must hurt before I can heal.
I wish you understood how my life has shattered. I know it is miserable for you to be around me when I'm feeling miserable. Please be as patient with me as I am with you.
When I say "I'm doing okay", I wish you could understand that I don't "feel" okay and that I struggle daily.
I wish you knew that all of the grief reactions I'm having are very normal.
Depression, anger, hopelessness and overwhelming sadness are all to be expected. So please excuse me when I'm quiet and withdrawn or irritable and cranky.
Your advice to "take one day at a time" is excellent advice. However, a day is too much and too fast for me right now. I wish you could understand that I'm doing good to handle an hour at a time.
Please excuse me if I seem rude, certainly not my intent. Sometimes the world around me goes too fast and I need to get off. When I walk away, I wish you would let me find a quiet place to spend time alone.
I wish you understood that grief changes people. When my child died, a big part of me died with him. I am not the same person I was before my child died, and I will never be that person again.
I wish very much that you could understand my loss and grief, my silence and my tears, my void and my pain. BUT...I pray daily that you will never understand.
My condolences / Alexandra RussellAlexandraR (No Relation )
Hello. I found the remnants of a Kyan-balloon today—in Arizona! Just by a trail, when I was hiking, it caught my attention. What I remembered, and what made me look it up, was the name: Kyan. I love that name! I've never seen it before.. And so it br...
your words / Clayton Williams (none)
I lost my son Triston sept. 1st 2009 your words express exactly how i feel not a second go'es by when i dont think of him and what he would be doing now I'm slowly seeing that I will never be the same person I was before my thoughts and prayesr are w...
Sweet Kyan / Barb Alltop (grandma)
How i miss you my precious grandson. I think of you everyday and ask why. there are no answers for any of us. Just know you was the light of our life and always will be. We will love you forever. you was an angel when you was here and now you a...
Birthday balloon / John &. Margie Myers (no relation )
Found a birthday balloon today while fishing in Albany KY. This is a wonderful site an tribute to a beautiful boy. Its easy to see Kyan is loved.
Thinking of you / Michelle Emerson
I stumbled across your blog and now your website. My husband and I recently lost our son, Alexander, to SUDC on December 20, 2008. I wanted to wish you well on your upcoming adoption. If you'd like to see it, here is the link to Ale...
Kyan was our gift from God. My wife and I were selected to be Kyan's parents by his birth mother prior to his birth. As a result, we were able to be at the hospital when he was born. We took care of him from the moment he was born. There was no doubt in our minds that when we first saw him that he was our son.
Kyan had a happy and loving personality. He rarely cried and liked to play and laugh. He loved to be read to and play outside.
Kyan provided my wife and I love that we never knew existed. We waited 6 years to have a baby. God finally blessed us through adoption with a son. We had 20 wonderful months with Kyan before God called him to Heaven. Although our time with Kyan was too short, we are both thankful for the time we were given with him. He changed our lives in a positive way. I look forward to moving on when my time on earth is done because I know my little buddy will be waving and yelling "Daddy!" as I come through Heavens gate just as he did every day when I came home from work.
We will always love and miss him.
Keep my memory with you, For memories never die; I will be there with you, When you look across the sky. I will be there in the clouds, In the birds that fill the air; In the beauty of a fragrant rose, You will find my memory there. You will feel me in the tenderness, Of a tiny baby's touch; You will hear me if you listen, In the twilight's gentle hush. When your hearts are heavy, And you feel that you are alone; Just reach down deep inside of you, For your heart is now my home. I will always be with you, I will never go away; For I will live on in your hearts, Forever and a day.
"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to a new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for a little while, leave footprints on our hearts and we are never, ever the same. " ~ Author Unknown